Sitting here in the still of my home, I am alone. Which is a rare situation these days. Kim is off exploring the grandeur and glory that is NYC, and my wonderful children and spending the next two nights with my amazing in-laws. Which will allow me to focus on work this week, and right now, enjoy this wonderful stillness.
So here I am enjoying the end of what was a lovely, productive, and restful day. I tried to listen to some music, but once it started to play I missed the hum of my dryer and quickly turned it off. And being that I haven't blogged in quite some time I thought I should write something. And since I recently had another MRI why not provide an update on how I am doing.
Well I am happy to say I had another great MRI. Again, that means that what needs to heal is still healing and there are no signs of recurrence so no need for surgery. As I have mentioned before, as time passes by the chance for recurrence increases so the fact that my MRI was clear is quite a relief. Overall I feel pretty darn good, and my monthly Chemo treatments are finally getting on schedule.
Two weeks ago I did have a rough night of nausea that kept me up all night. When I finally got up to get something to eat I became dizzy, sat down on the floor, and either fainted or had enough seizure. Which sadly means no driving for me until December. The silver lining? I get to do a bunch of work on my truck that I couldn't as it was my primary mode of transportation. So right now it is in the garage with the front fenders off for rust removal, and one of the wheels off so I can fix the 4WD and enjoy full traction this winter.
Ed is back in preschool and Alma is hanging out with Grandma one day and a friend of ours another day. That means Kim is getting back into the studio more and more and soon will have some prints to sell. I will for post something to the blog when they are available for sale.
It's interesting, as time has past I have had a few moments where I thought, "Oh shit, I have Cancer," and each time the gravity of the situation I am in was more present and real to me. So much so I was avoiding this blog. You see this blog is one of the ways I process what I am going through, and to write a blog about what I am going through means that I actually have to accept what could happen to me in the not too distant future. So I ignored the blog, came up with other hobbies to obsess about to drown out that reality, that gravity, the fact that someday I will die much sooner than I expected.
So, here I am finally writing again. In the still of this rainy night accepting my potential fate, and deciding to not let it stop me from doing the things that I love to do; not let it hold power over me; and not let it get in the way of encouraging others to live their lives to the fullest.
I sit in the quiet.
An Assignment - Sit in the quiet. Go to your favorite coffee shop, bookstore, library, or any place you find peaceful, and just sit in the quite.