People often ask me, “how are you doing, or how are you feeling,” which are very fair questions. Frankly, since I don’t look like I have cancer, work out regularly, often at the office, and traveling quite a bit, it makes sense to me that people ask those questions. Oddly enough, compared to how I felt before my surgery, I feel amazing. And thanks to Ritalin, my current monthly rounds of Chemo treatments don't affect me like they used to.
I have to admit that it's weird for me to think that I have a significant form of cancer. Being that I feel so good it is hard to comprehend that I potentially have a very short timeline. It is a weird state of limbo that myself and my family are in.
One question that I ask myself regularly is how am I doing mentally emotionally, which is a question we should all be asking ourselves, and I think overall I am doing well. I am not ignoring this reality that I am in, I am often discussing it with family and friends, my wife and I often check in with each other about it so overall I think I am in a good spot. One fact that I have come to terms with is that I will never really be able to wrap my head around all of this. That while I am doing all the things I can to process this, I know that it will always be a complex issue that I will often need to check in with people on.
I think one thing I have become consistent in is asking God to heal me. Be it through the power of science, the power of the holy spirit, or both. I was encouraged by my brother to ask God to heal me daily and I was not consistent with it, but thanks to an app called Echo I am reminded daily to ask for healing. I know to some of those that read this blog this paragraph sounds crazy, and maybe it is crazy, but hell I'm crazy so it fits.
Here is one thing I know, and one thing I know I have said repeatedly. I know that I am going through this with the most amazing people around me. That I am in this slugfest with the greatest partner in life, and with the greatest kids that I get to bless while I am still here. I have family and friends that love me, strangers that read my blog and encourage me, and a God that knows what I am going through and will help me along the way no matter what the end result is.
As my family and I were flying back from Portland I was sitting next to my son with his head in my lap. I sat there and prayed for him, for his future, for the person that he will be. I asked for blessing on him as I often do for my whole family. If I am going to exit this world early than originally expected I am going to make sure I do what I can to bless the socks off of the ones I love.
An Assignment - Whether it be in person, on social media, or via an email, speak encouragement in 5 different people. Be specific, callout their gifts, speak into the things they do. It will make their day and your day as well.